It's That Time of Year Again :) Ladies Retreat!!!

Lately I have been busyish and have been just not on my blogger that much, I havent wrote on here in more than a month, and I'm sorry about that.

I think it was last month that my laptop's back light went kaput on me, I wanted to buy a new laptop, but I don't have the finances to do that right now, and even to fix it it'd be like 100 dollars not including the taxes. So right now my Mom is letting me use her laptop.

We tried to see if the state would pay me for taking care of my grandma but since I live in the same house with her they can not pay me, I don't feel like that is fair, but I can't make them change their minds.  It's just a thing of where I want/need to save money now, but I don't make enough to save money, but God knows.

I'm feeding my Pastor's dog, Bounder, and their daughter's dog Bella, today and tomorrow for them, so there is a little bit of money, PLUS I get to see cute dogs :)

We got a dog :D Her name is Lucy.  She is quite and loves to be petted, loves attention (which is kinda perfect match for me).

I've learned that I am an attention seeker, and that is DANGEROUS for a person, let alone a girl, God will help me with it if I allow Him to, but when I do my own thing and don't allow Him to have all my attention and me get the attention that I seek from Him it leads to problems.

I'm going to Clovis New Mexico for their Ladies Retreat at I believe it's Westbrook Baptist Church on October 6th-8th, it has always been a blessing to me to go, a break from everyday stuff here and a way to get away and just be able to relax and have fellowship with LIKEMINDED believers.  It's testing living with a family that does not believe like you do and it's hard when they disagree with a stand you take or something like that. I get so frustrated at times about things they do that they see nothing wrong with.  I'm going to try and make some snickerdoodles for the craft sale, I dont do crafts really, and cookies are not a craft per say, but I bought jam and banana bread last year at the craft sale so why not make some cookies that I'm good at making? It will be such a blessing to go this year, I believe Sister Copes is "preaching" teaching (lol) again this year, such a wonderful, woman of God.

Sometimes I feel as though I am stuck, that I can't move forwards, and in ways I take steps backwards, that nothing I do here matters that I'm not truly fully appreciated.  When I talk with my friend or am online just doing random things I feel good and happy (yes I know that sounds bad, but it's kinda the truth) but when I'm with my family I just get upset.  They don't get me.  My uncle tattles about every little thing, it's like if you see something do it be a blessing not a burden.  My uncle is no saint himself.

I need to learn to be content in this situation because how will I ever be content when I am married and have my own family, of course I will love my family and care for them, and know that my husband and children love me and respect and appreciate me, but how can I be content there when I am not content here?  That's a question that has been posed to me over the past 2 years.  I try to be content and I just fail at it.  I get so frustrated and annoyed at people trying to tell me what to do and how to do it, well mainly just my uncle and my grandma (she repeats things over and over and over again and has no patience whatsoever).

If I had the money I'd go to Bible College, though right now I don't even know if that is truly God's will for me, in a way I kinda think that I'm not there now, and have been out of high school for 3 years now that maybe it's not God's will for my life just because of that but I know that with GOD all things are possible.

Kurt Skelly just tweeted: Before one ventures outdoors to criticize, he would do well to stop by the mirror of self-examination.  I think people in my house need this statement, as well as I do.

Well before I go into anything else and bore ya'll anymore I'll end this.

Oh and I'm really really looking forward to this ladies retreat, I really need it.

God bless,
Mandy Marie