I was Nominated :) By AuntErica10.blogspot.com

Haha Just found it Erica, took me forever lol. I'm hardly on blogger anymore as you can tell lol. I think you've probably lost more weight than I have, I've put back on thirty :( Since Octoberish. But working to take those back off.

...My 5 Questions...

..If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?

If you'd have asked me a year ago I'd say Africa but now I'd say Philly :D

..What is your favorite recipe?

Um that's a hard one, I recently found a recipe for lasagna and it was amazing so I'll say that one, I can't remember where I got it from though lol.

..Are you a morning person?

Eh it depends lol, I get up at 6:45 though

..Favorite quote from a movie?

oh goodness lol that is a hard one lol The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming!

Harvey Dent

..What is your favorite nail polish color?

um if I ever wear it it's usually a pinkish color, but I don't wear nail polish much lol

Um I'll go against the grain and not nominate anyone lol

What I'm Going to Need, just saw this was saved after I published my happily ever after and this describes Robert to a T

I'm going to need a man one day that will tell me I'm beautiful, that I'm smart, look great. I want a man who is Godly  and close to the Lord.

My Happily Ever After

I can't say it was love at first tweet, but I knew there is something special about this man, his tweets are spot on, he loves the Lord, he loves church. I believe he followed me first. I checked out his twitter account and agreed with what he tweets and loved what he was tweeting so I followed him, I'm so glad that I did. One day I saw a picture of him (a new profile pic on twitter) with one of his young kids and I decided to ask him via DM how old he was since he looked like a youth himself. That started it all, I found him on Facebook where he gave me his number if I needed to reach him quickly for prayer or anything. We started texting off and on for months, then every day we'd text. I didn't expect it to come this far but I'm glad it has. I liked him since we started to text. My best friend at the time told me that if I wanted Robert that I should pray about him and I could have him, that it wouldn't be hard or something close to this I can't recall the actual wording he used. Robert has become my best friend, my person I confide in, I trust him completely. through talking to my dad and his friends they convinced me to let him call me, and after awhile I did and yes I was nervous but I loved it so much we now talk practically daily and I so enjoy his calls, on occasions he asks me what if questions, like what if we ended up together what would you do as a pastor's wife, etc. we Skype as well and that is interesting lol adds a whole new view to him, I actually get to see the man who I love and he can see me. I believe without a doubt that I've met the one I'm to marry one day :) and God arranged it all :) we are now boyfriend and girlfriend and what I thought before to be us acting as more than friends was just a taste of how he really is now that he is my boyfriend. He is the best thing that has happened to my life, outside of my salvation and God's calling on my life. He makes me feel so special, he makes me smile even if I'm having a rough day, he makes me laugh, even at myself (well that's happened while we were on Skype) I can not wait to see what God has instore for us but I'm sure it will be fun filled, laughter filled, love filled- my happily ever after!

Update on my Uncle

My uncle passed away today around 3:00 or so, maybe 2:45 I'm not for sure. Please pray for my family.

My Uncle, plus a few updates

My uncle Tony is in the hospital again but this time he won't be making it out :( On June 11th my cousin David asked me to check on his dad for him sometime during the day and I did, he seemed confused, couldn't think of words and couldn't finish sentences, his face was sunken in like a very elderly mans would look like (my uncle was only 60 but he looked 80 or 90) well he finally got out that he would like me to go buy him some sherbert, for some reason I felt like he was going to fall when he reached for his cane on the floor, my uncle has post polio and just recently found out that he has hepatitis c and has sirosis of his liver, and I'm thankful that he did because when I got back over to his house he had fallen down and apparently hit his head on the concrete of his garage :( he wouldn't give me the key to his garage gate so I couldn't go in and help him so I stood there helplessly and thinking what can I do to help him, so I decided to go get my cell phone and walk across the street to get signal and call my mom who came as fast as she could, she tried to get him to give her the keys and he wouldn't, he didn't understand, he didn't know where the keys were.  She borrowed my phone after I googled my cousin's work number and she asked him to come home that it was an emergency. and then she came back and she finally got my uncle to say ok to call 911 so I went and called 911. There they found his ammonia levels were high and he has pneumonia. He was in the hospital for a couple days then he came home and he reunited with his daughter after about 10 or 15 years of being mad at her, he met his grandchildren. He kept telling Toni that I saved his life that day. Claire saw that he didn't feel well so she went up to him and gave him a hug and he hugged her back, such a sweet memory of the two of them that is burned into my memory. My uncle had made up with his mom a few weeks before he went into the hospital.  My cousin called on the 21st of June telling us that his dad didn't know who he was and was walking without his cane and such and what should he do, we told him to take him to the ER and his dad was pushing him into the firewood pile next to his car so mom went over and helped him, but ended up calling an ambulance once again, his ammonia levels were once again high. They put him in ICU after the first day because he was being combative and they sedated him. they put him on hospice care and gave him 2-5 days to live on Sunday (June 24th) he's still alive but he's not here, he's asleep and breathing heavy. Mom took off a week at work, his son is staying up there with him, so is his daughter, had my aunt and my cousin down for 2 days to visit him. This is hard for all of us.

My uncle was like a dad to me when my dad wasn't there for me, he'd take me places, have me help him around his house and with his garden, go to the store with him, he'd buy me Jimmy Dean Lunches back when they still had those, he didn't think Lunchables were too healthy. He stopped smoking because hannah and me and I believe emily as well gave him things to quit smoking one time for Christmas, that was a blessing. He loved the Beatles, and other music too, loved cats the most but loved all animals.  I'm going to miss him, even with his many faults (like we all have).


I've got to work on feeling my emotions because I'm the type that hides them, I tend to eat my feelings and I can't do that. Even though feeling and processing through these emotions are hard and wear me out physically I need to just feel them because it's what I need to do. I don't like it but I gotta do it.


Update on my weight: I'm still juggling the same couple of pounds but I can  understand why I'm just a ball of emotions this month, it's been a hard month. I don't think I'll hit my goal of 60 pounds lost by August 1st, but I'm hoping to be close to it, I'm around 41-44 pounds lost right now.

I'm really hoping and praying that we go to youth conference this year, I need it so much, I need the preaching and the fellowship that you get there. It's just such a blessing to my soul. I'm hoping that if we go that mom will let me go, because it's really the one thing that I look forward to each year that I can still go to, it's college and career age not just for high school/middle school kids. I need a break from my every day life and just recoup from all this drama that's going on in my life.

I don't know how much longer my uncle will be with us, he hasn't had food or water in at least 5 days. Please just be in prayer for my family during this hard time.

Thanks and God bless!
Mandy Marie

Even in the Valley God is Good.

Update :)

I'm happy to say that the scale is moving again :) Lowest this week was 191.4, but I'm back up to 192.8 but so glad to be going in the right direction (for the most part lol) again :D

I finish Insanity: the Asylum on the 16th of this month :) then going to do another round of Insanity. I was going to do a hybrid of the two but decided to do the 2nd round instead and do a hybrid another time lol.

Started at the gym this week, been fun, and I believe that has helped me to lose weight again :D

Well I guess I better get, got a gym workout to do once mom gets home from work, just finished Asylum: Strength

Update on my Weight Loss

I've hit a plateau :(

I had gotten down to 191 but am now back up to 195, which yesterday I was 198 so I lost some water weight overnight which is good, but I took a vacation and my diet was crazy as was my workout schedule so I gained a few pounds, but I'm back to my normal routine and will start losing again hopefully. but I've been stuck around 195 since I wrote my last blog.

My mom and grama got me a gym membership to the local gym here and that starts in June so I'm hoping to see good progress with that.

I'm on Day 7 of 30 of my Asylum and getting stronger, and really liking this workout program :)

My Weight Loss Journey thus Far: October 12th through April 5th

Last Day of Youth Conference before

Traveling home.

 This first picture is from Youth Conference, we were on our way home, just finished the last service, had a great time, I didn't know how bad I looked until I got home and looked, really looked, at the picture. This was either my highest weight, or very close to it. I surprisingly did not change my ways of eating and working out then, this picture was taken on August 4th, 2011, my Journey starts October 12th during Ladies Retreat. My highest weight: 235 or 237, I go by 235 because I know for sure I was 235, before this my highest weight was 227 years before and I had told myself that I'd never get back to that weight again, but I had been at a point in my life where I had just stopped caring and I just gained back the weight plus more.

On the way to Clovis NM for Ladies Retreat

This next picture is what started my weight loss journey, that and I was embarrassed by my weight, I had just went to walmart days before to just look around and found some shirts that were on sale for a dollar and I tried on some shirts, the smallest was a 2X because I thought that that would fit me, sad thing was that it did not, I had to get a 3X, that is what woke me up to what I had allowed myself to do to my body. I was embarrassed when eating out with the ladies from church, so much so that I ordered healthy food just to say that I was trying to lose weight, which in doing that it helped me to start that change in myself. I had a great time at ladies retreat and started working out when I got home, I bought a workout DVD from walmart and did that one for 2 weeks, within the first week I had lost 10 pounds or so, then started Tae Bo for another 4 weeks with 2 different dvds. After Taebo I did some Jillian Michaels workout DVDs, in her Ripped in 30 I lost 13 pounds.  I got tired of those DVDs and then I asked for a workout program for my birthday called Insanity! I have loved that program, I've finished Month 1 and I'm currently in the Recovery Week, I start Month 2 on April 9th, then when I'm done with Insanity I'm doing Insanity Asylum.

So far I've lost 40 pounds. I went from 235 to 195. I'm not anywhere near my goal, My ultimate goal is 120, but for now I will be happy to get to 150. When I reach 175 I will have reached a goal I have set time and time again that I never made it to. When I was in 7th grade I weighed 175. That is why that is such a huge goal for me.

 If I can do this I know that others who are struggling with their weight can do this. I'm not someone who is perfect, I haven't arrived, and I never will, no one will ever arrive. Every day I ask God to enable me to lose weight and He is, but I also realize that I have to put in the effort and the work into it as well otherwise I won't change. Yes, God enables, but we have to do something about it too.

Here's to the next 45-75 pounds :)

God bless you, and thank you for reading!!!
Mandy Marie

November 2011 to March 2012

August 2011

October 2011

April 2012

December 2011

22 in 36 days

I'm going to be 22 in 36 days, where did the time fly? What have I done in these 22 years that God has given me that amounts to anything? I graduated high school. I've spent the last almost 4 years now taking care of my grandmother and cousin and cleaning house, and cooking. But still it seems like my life is a failure, like i have nothing to show for the past 4 years, my family doesn't like me, or my convictions I have. I'm sure to some degree they like me, but they don't show it like I think they should.  I've never had a real job outside of the home, I worked i a firework stand years ago for maybe 3 days but that's it. I've never been to college, I've just been at home. Waiting for God to send me the one, or send me a way to go to bible college. I've made some mistakes in my years at home, many I regret, though they are forgiven they are still mistakes and regrets.

I've been trying to improve my health since October, weight-wise, and I'm doing good there, but I don't see any successes outside of that.

I'm praying to God that He shows me where He wants me to go, or what He wants me to do, or what He wants for me, but He seems ever so quiet at times.  I don't want to live in this house forever, I don't want to have a failed life. God has called me to be a missionary's wife, and what am I doing to get towards that?

I'm just saddened by some things and wondering what will happen in my future. People at church tell me I need to go to college and I think I would drop everything and go to Bible College if I had the money, I'm tired of how things are going on here, there's no real love here, just strife.

I want to make this next year be a year that I'm not a failure, I can't keep doing the same things over and over and over again.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  It's insanity if I think doing the same thing day in and day out will change anything in my life.

Well I guess this is all my musings for today.

God bless and thanks for reading.
Mandy Marie

It's That Time of Year Again :) Ladies Retreat!!!

Lately I have been busyish and have been just not on my blogger that much, I havent wrote on here in more than a month, and I'm sorry about that.

I think it was last month that my laptop's back light went kaput on me, I wanted to buy a new laptop, but I don't have the finances to do that right now, and even to fix it it'd be like 100 dollars not including the taxes. So right now my Mom is letting me use her laptop.

We tried to see if the state would pay me for taking care of my grandma but since I live in the same house with her they can not pay me, I don't feel like that is fair, but I can't make them change their minds.  It's just a thing of where I want/need to save money now, but I don't make enough to save money, but God knows.

I'm feeding my Pastor's dog, Bounder, and their daughter's dog Bella, today and tomorrow for them, so there is a little bit of money, PLUS I get to see cute dogs :)

We got a dog :D Her name is Lucy.  She is quite and loves to be petted, loves attention (which is kinda perfect match for me).

I've learned that I am an attention seeker, and that is DANGEROUS for a person, let alone a girl, God will help me with it if I allow Him to, but when I do my own thing and don't allow Him to have all my attention and me get the attention that I seek from Him it leads to problems.

I'm going to Clovis New Mexico for their Ladies Retreat at I believe it's Westbrook Baptist Church on October 6th-8th, it has always been a blessing to me to go, a break from everyday stuff here and a way to get away and just be able to relax and have fellowship with LIKEMINDED believers.  It's testing living with a family that does not believe like you do and it's hard when they disagree with a stand you take or something like that. I get so frustrated at times about things they do that they see nothing wrong with.  I'm going to try and make some snickerdoodles for the craft sale, I dont do crafts really, and cookies are not a craft per say, but I bought jam and banana bread last year at the craft sale so why not make some cookies that I'm good at making? It will be such a blessing to go this year, I believe Sister Copes is "preaching" teaching (lol) again this year, such a wonderful, woman of God.

Sometimes I feel as though I am stuck, that I can't move forwards, and in ways I take steps backwards, that nothing I do here matters that I'm not truly fully appreciated.  When I talk with my friend or am online just doing random things I feel good and happy (yes I know that sounds bad, but it's kinda the truth) but when I'm with my family I just get upset.  They don't get me.  My uncle tattles about every little thing, it's like if you see something do it be a blessing not a burden.  My uncle is no saint himself.

I need to learn to be content in this situation because how will I ever be content when I am married and have my own family, of course I will love my family and care for them, and know that my husband and children love me and respect and appreciate me, but how can I be content there when I am not content here?  That's a question that has been posed to me over the past 2 years.  I try to be content and I just fail at it.  I get so frustrated and annoyed at people trying to tell me what to do and how to do it, well mainly just my uncle and my grandma (she repeats things over and over and over again and has no patience whatsoever).

If I had the money I'd go to Bible College, though right now I don't even know if that is truly God's will for me, in a way I kinda think that I'm not there now, and have been out of high school for 3 years now that maybe it's not God's will for my life just because of that but I know that with GOD all things are possible.

Kurt Skelly just tweeted: Before one ventures outdoors to criticize, he would do well to stop by the mirror of self-examination.  I think people in my house need this statement, as well as I do.

Well before I go into anything else and bore ya'll anymore I'll end this.

Oh and I'm really really looking forward to this ladies retreat, I really need it.

God bless,
Mandy Marie

The Love of God

Tonight has been a hard night for me, God knows the situation, but this is a song that came to mind.


The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell;
It goes beyond the highest star,
And reaches to the lowest hell;
The guilty pair, bowed down with care,
God gave His Son to win;
His erring child He reconciled,
And pardoned from his sin.

Refrain:
O love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
The saints' and angels' song.

When years of time shall pass away,
And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall,
When men, who here refuse to pray,
On rocks and hills and mountains call,
God's love so sure, shall still endure,
All measureless and strong;
Redeeming grace to Adam's race—
The saints' and angels' song.

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade,
To write the love of God above,
Would drain the ocean dry.
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.

Youth Conference

Youth Conference was so much fun this week, I miss it so much now though!  I miss Heartland and SouthWest Baptist Church.  The day after we came home depression and discouragement hit me kinda hard. I know that the discouragement was from the devil, but the depression was from not being at youth conference anymore.  We were on a "spiritual high" if you will and we came down off of that high and it's shocking, they always warn you about it before they pray and dismiss but you are never truly ready for it.  There's not any way to successfully prepare for it.  Once you get home your commitments get tested, one of mine is to pass out tracts in my neighborhood and try to get something set up for soulwinning in our church, if that means just suggesting it or asking why we don't do it anymore then I'll do it.  But I have to find the right time to ask all of this.  I have to find someone to go with me passing out tracts in my neighborhood because you know as well as I do, it's not safe for a single young lady (21 years old, but still a young lady) to go alone out passing out tracts, and inviting people to church, it's just not safe.

Pastor Kurt Skelly and Brother TJ Wilder was a blessing to my soul with their preaching, as was Brother Jason Gaddis.  They all laid great, thought provoking messages upon our hearts and minds.

I pray that God gives me the strength to do what He wants me to do, and the things that He has shown me He wants me to do.  I know one thing He has showed me is to be still and know that He is God.  Other things that He's shown me is that to Trust Him and not to lean on my own understanding, but in all my ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct my paths.  To delight myself in Him and He'll give me the desires of my heart.

As we delight in God and get closer to Him, our desires change, they become the same desires that God has had for us from the beginning.  That verse is Psalm 37:4 that I'm talking about.

I pray that God gets ahold of our youth group, they are too close to the world and it shows in their walk and talk.  I don't see much fruit in their lives, we need our youth to get on fire for God.

Our church needs to get back to soul winning and visitation, and not just let our pastor do it.  We can't make our pastor soul win for us, we're all commanded to do that.  It doesn't say Pastor go out to the high ways and hedges and compel them that they make come in that My house may be filled, it's told to everyone. the Great Commission is for everyone, not just the Pastor.

Tom's Test

Tom Burton is in his last year of college, studying music directing and business. Since Tom comes from a wealthy family, lots of young ladies are eager to become his wife. Not knowing which one is the one for him, Tom puts each girl through a test to see whether they’re truly committed. When he realizes his tests are somewhat flawed, Tom finally turns to God for the choice. Little does he know God may have a test in store for him.







During the night today, well started last night around 11 something, I realized that I was putting people to the test, guys to the test, on how they would react to my past to see how my future spouse will react once I tell him my past.  I trusted some of them enough to tell them regardless but you know it was still wrong motives.  I  thought after I sent the emails to them, at different time periods (different months), that now I'll see how they react to it to see how my future husband will react to it.  None of them had problems with it, but you know I should never have put them through a test like in the book Tom's Test, Tom was from a wealthy family and he didn't want girls that were just after his money so he put them through the tests that he came up in his mind but the tests were always flawed in one way or another and it ended up hurting him in the end before he got right with God.  I see myself in Tom by these tests that I've given to people about my past.  Though I did not do it to harm them, I still did do it.  I hope none of them are offended by it, one I don't even talk to anymore because he is not saved.

I realized last night however that I don't have to put guy friends to the test because when the one comes my way God will make it work out, He will not give me the one and not make it work out.  I think it might upset him, the one, a little bit by some of it, but I know that if God is in it he will still love me regardless.

God is good

Through it all God is good.

Evaristo and Salvation

My Grams is on hospice care and she has people come to the house, Evaristo and Martha.

Thursday Evaristo came over, he helps my grams M-W-F, he came over to get our old water heater and to talk with my grams, Wednesday the nurse came and did vitals and whatnot and grams' heart beat was a little more irregular, the nurse shared that with Evaristo and it bothered him, cuz he likes my grams and he doesn't like it when his patients die and whatnot (he's a CNA).  He made a statement about how he hopes that his good outweighs the bad so he'll go to heaven and my grams told him i'm sure it will.  That right there burdened my heart.  I knew he was not saved.  God burdened my heart to write him a letter explaining salvation to him and adding 2 tracts in it (one is a cartoon form and the other was a just written form).  I explained that salvation is by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, that we don't go to heaven by anything that we have done.  and I gave him the letter on Friday after praying over it, praying that God saves Evaristo and things along that nature, but I was worried about his reaction.  I tweeted something about it and my friend tweeted back and said God's Word never returns void, and that gave me comfort.  Monday he came in and he seemed like he was under conviction, on his way out (grams had no idea that i had given him a letter) he said thank you Mandy for the letter it was very enlightening.  Grams asked what did i tell him in the letter and I said I thanked him for caring for you and I explained salvation to him. and she said that's nice, or something along that line.  I shared with Mrs Martin last night what I did and she thought I did the right thing and that I should invite him to church or if he didn't mind if Pastor came out to see him or whatnot, I believe Evaristo is Catholic.  Today Grams was upset about it, that I shouldn't have given him that letter that I had no right to judge if he was saved or not and just things like that.  that she has to straighten it all out now because he looked upset about it (which to me that looked like conviction) she told me that I'm pushing away people from Christ, turning them away.  We aren't to judge and whatnot.  But I know that I did the right thing, that God impressed upon my heart to do that, He burdened my heart about it. And I have learned the hard way that if you don't do God's will, what He has burdened your heart you end up with no peace and no joy among other things, so I obeyed God's burden He placed upon my heart.  Grams said today that you witness when your on a witnessing field, and my mind went straight to the saying that once you step outside those church doors you are in your mission field.  Grams said he doesn't come here for that, but the woman at the well didn't come for salvation yet she left with it.  Christ meets you in the way.  If no one witnessed at times that weren't appointed to witness at then no one would get saved.

Please pray for Evaristo, Andrew (his son who is about 3ish), and Cindy his wife that they get saved.  Pray that grams heart opens up and if she isn't saved that she gets saved.  With the way she talks and acts I do not believe that she is saved.

Job, Bible College, and Laptop

Today I got the desire to get a new laptop when I had the money, but then I realized that this one that I have right now is still working, the spring has sprung on the left mouse button but other than that it is ay oh kay. So I decided that once I save enough money for Bible College that I will take and get me a new laptop that I will use during my time there, hopefully Heartland Baptist Bible College in Oklahoma City if they accept me, I know that my Pastor would be okay with that school already.

Job:  My family and I are looking into seeing if I can get paid by the state or whoever does pay family members who stay home and care for their sick/bedridden, ect. family members, and if I were to get paid for doing that in 1 years time frame I would be able to go to Bible College for 2 years almost, that is with giving my Tithes and Missions and paying my phone bill and all the other needs I need plus a little money for me, but saving some money.  But if I can't get that then I have peace about getting a job outside of the house, though I don't like the thought of what it would do to my family, but God has called me to missions and I can not learn to be a helpmeet to my husband just sitting here at home, I wouldn't know the first thing to do if I were in a foreign field trying to start a church with my husband, whomever he may be, from scratch, I need to learn that kinda thing, sure I know the basics of a family, but I don't know all that I need to know just from staying at home, and I know that God can send me my husband here in my little town but I haven't seen it yet, so I know that I need to go off to Bible College, as I've felt that was God's will for some time now, though my desire comes and goes.

Bible College:  I feel my desire to go to Heartland coming back, in full swing, I know how hard it will be to leave once Youth Conference is over when we go up there, I already am filled with joy as I think about it and about how I could quite possibly be there in the space of a year, I have this desire that I know satan will try to pull away from me through discouragement and discontentment in the things I have because he has done that to me before, but this time with the Lord's help I will stay strong with my commitments and I really want to go to Bible College next fall, this fall is out of the question, though I wish it were not!  If I had the money I could start in January, but I would like to start in the fall.

Please pray for me as I seek God's will in these areas, of Bible College and a job.

Thank you!!!

God Bless!
Mandy Marie

God's Cure For Loneliness

Once again today I found myself in a state of loneliness, feeling alone.  I go through states of loneliness off and on. But today was different. Today I found the answer for why I get lonely and that is because of satan.  I have gained victory in one area of my life and he knows that the temptations he brings about in front of me is not working so he tries to go to another area in my life to try and make me slip up there.  The area he tried today is loneliness.  God showed me that today.  Now that I know what satan is trying to use to slip me up in my walk with God I can watch out for it, and then the cure for loneliness is none other than God's Word.  I went to God's Word to cure my loneliness, I had only read a chapter of Proverbs this morning because I was really tired and I told God that I"d read more later on today.  I had gotten caught up in the day and satan came'a knockin and he was trying to get me down, and was succeeding, he was telling me things like now all your friends are serving God and you're all alone.  I know that God is working in my friend's lives, and He is working in my life too (for which I am glad).  I know that what satan told me was a LIE and will always be a LIE.  The Bible calls satan the father of all lies, so why would I be surprised to find out that he would lie to me?  I know that I am never alone, after I got saved I have never been alone.  Jesus Christ is with me all the time, the Holy Spirit lives inside of me.  I can always run to the Father and cling to Him and get the comfort I need, the encouragement that I need.  When I go through loneliness there are other feelings/things that come along with it. 1. Discontentment and 2. Discouragement  I get discontent in where God has me and I get discouraged with that as well.  I get discontent in my friendships, in my relationships that i may have, I get discouraged in what I"m doing for the Lord, that the little things are not big enough, but I fail to realize that Little is MUCH if God is in it!  Friends, our labour is not in vain in the Lord.  That is one thing that God showed me in my reading this afternoon in Philippians.  I went to Philippians because I remembered that my Pastor said if you're ever going through a hard time or are depressed go to Philippians it will lift your soul so that is what I did.

Isn't God good?!?

I Pray that what God showed me was a blessing to you.

God bless
Mandy Marie

Africa- September 14, 2010

The book I talk about in the 1st paragraph is Sam the Sergeant, in the book he turns out to be called to Africa and the girl he is to marry, whom God betrothed him to, is surrendered to go to Africa as well.
I feel conviction upon my heart, i`ve been feeling it during the last half of the book i was reading. Im not sure what all its about though.

i know i need to not compromise, not to give in.

Back in the day i see missionary videos from like africa and it would make me tear up just seeing those kids whose parents had aids and died and they had become orphans and its just sad. I remember 1 picture in particular, it was a little boy who had lost his arm. His parents had aids and i think he did too because his mom had it and how sad it was, even know it brings tears to my eyes. I used to think maybe God was calling me to africa because when i`d see those slides it would move my heart. But i thought later on that it was a thing that mandy wanted to do, and not one of God gave it to me. I thought maybe God wanted me to go to america this past year, but im not sure about that. Im just confused.
During the service bro copeland had a boy go up to the platform and he did some things and then he dreamed about his future and said you could be a pastor, something else that i cant remember, or a missionary to africa.

I dont know if that was God`s answer to me or not, but i asked God to make His will clear to me and if He has to hit me over the head wiith it that`s okay with me lol
Around the Globe: that was the theme for the youth conference this year. they had to carry bags around on their back while they did the games or whatnot the competitions, and they went to Egypt, China and i think 1 other place and the ones who won were the ones who took off the extra baggage. there were a few people that didnt take off the baggage, they were asked to take it out and show what was in the bags one had sports equipment and another team had hairdryers and stuff to make you look pretty. i liked that skit, i could see the moral of it before brother Ted Inman said waht it was.
Lately it seems like I've been seeing Africa everywhere, it started before youth conference but not too much, but i've been seeing all these shows on tv that are about african animals in africa, my pastor went out of town yesterday after church and brother chase was preaching and in his message he mentioned sudan and the slavery there, tonight on the news they were talking about hurricane danielle and said it's more close to africa than to the us right now. it just seems like africa is everywhere. when i first told mom about me surrendering me to be a missionary she pictured me going to africa (cuz in her mind that's where all the missionaries go). In my Junior year in my goals essay we had to tell the place we wanted to live and what we would be doing in 10 years from now and guess where i placed myself being a missionary to? you guessed it---- Africa. I am not sure if God is trying to tell me through all of this that Africa is really where He wants/ed me to go or not. but it sure seems like Africa is everywhere i look. it's in the song Bury my heart on the Mission field Lord even though africa is not anywhere mentioned in that song. Grams told me the day after I got back from youth conference that there were 10 missionaries killed in Africa because they were carrying their Bible and the africans thought they were trying to convert them and my first thought besides that's sad is someone has to replace them. Brother Cecil Ballard told us when he was preaching at Pot-O-Gold Youth camp in 02 that who is going to fill their shoes? He had had all the preachers and their wives come up to the stage and take their shoes off and then he said who is going to fill their shoes and in my heart i felt like if i dont who will? What if God is calling me to Africa? I think it would be neat yes, but it's awful scary if you think about it, those 10 missionaries died because they were sharing their faith (i'm not sure who they were or what faith they were) what if that were to happen to me? but the Bible tells us in John 12:25 "He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal." that's not the verse i'm thinking of lol wait a second let me find it. Here we go: Matthew 10:39 "He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it." I'm not sure how that fits in there for comfort but that's what came to mind when i thought of what if that were to happen to me, that i get murdered for sharing the Gospel in africa if that is truly where God wants me to go. But you know what if I am called to africa and God decides to let me get murdered for sharing the glorious Gospel and even 1 soul gets saved it will be worth it all because Heaven rejoices over 1 sinner that gets saved.
It's in the commercials for Johnson and Johnson talking about Kenya or Sudan or something like that, they said that it created jobs here and back home, I thought they meant home was Africa and here was the US. They mentioned Hurricane Earl being close to Africa in the news.
1 Chronicles 28:20 And David said to Solomon his son, Be strong and of good courage, and do [it]: fear not, nor be dismayed: for the LORD God, [even] my God, [will be] with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee, until thou hast finished all the work for the service of the house of the LORD.
This verse God really spoke to me this morning when i was reading my bible. It's the verse He used to call me to Africa. I prayed and asked Him to show me if He really is calling me to Africa and He said I want you to go to Africa.

In my junior year of High School people came to our US History class and told us about the Invisible Children in Uganda and Sudan.

Brother Chase told us about how they burn crops in Africa for a split second in a message he preached while pastor was gone.

Mrs Martin told us in Sunday school this morning(9/5/10) that we don’t have to go to Africa just surrender to it if God has asked you to, we were talking about Abraham and Isaac and how Abraham was told by God to sacrifice Isaac his only son.  She said we don’t have to go to Timbuktu, a place in Africa, and never see our mom and dad again, just surrender to go.  lol

Mrs Chase was talking about a book by Mrs Pearl about a helpmeet for him or something along that line and said something about your husband could be a visionary man who could up and go to Africa one month and then 2 months later go somewhere else, and she said some other things about the book as well.


There has been so much more Africa in my past that I cant even write it all down, and I am very sure that there will be more Africa in my future as well.

Missionary David Livingstone- heart buried in Africa.

Africa!!!

Last year sometime, around August I know for sure, August 25, 2010 (i had it written in my old Bible). I surrendered to go to Africa.  I had been feeling the call for a few weeks and even earlier in life I had felt the call but then I wrote it off as I wanted to go and not God calling me to go.

I remember all the missionaries who were going to Africa had slide show pictures and they would show them to us and it would move my heart and bring tears to my eyes, this girl (me) doesn't cry very much, and I remember this one picture of this boy who had lost his arm. His parents had AIDs and as a result he had it too, his parents died and he was an orphan.  He got saved and he had a huge smile on his face. So many people over in Africa have the same story, oh they may not have lost a limb or got saved but a lot of them have aids.  it's just sad.  People need the Lord.

through sin we forget God's call upon our lives, we have it in the back of our minds and for me when Africa would get brought up just randomly it would bring good thoughts to my mind and make me think of God's calling, but it didn't stir up the need to repent and get back on the firing line.

Last year sometime I was given a CD by a girl and it had Bury My Heart on the Mission Field and all throughout the song I pictured African people, the song never once mentions Africa but that was all that was on my heart.

At youth conference last year Brother Copeland preached (Brother Baldwin did too, but Bro Copeland was the one God used in this instance, though God used both) and he asked, I believe it was Brother Gaddis's youngest son, to come up to the altar to come and stand next to him. Brother Copeland knelt down next to the boy and dreamed about that little boy's future.  He said he could be a preacher some day or something else, or a missionary to Africa and that spoke to my heart because of all the Africa stuff that had been going on, I was seeing it everywhere, on TV, in preaching, just everywhere.  I didn't surrender that day, but a few weeks later I did surrender.

How are they going to hear if we don't go? Who is going to fill the missionaries shoes when they die and go on to Glory? Who will reach the African people if I don't? Yes I know that women don't preach and I don't want to be a preacher, God forbid that I'd want to be a preacher, but I know that I am to be the help meet to my husband whenever God sends that man along.  But a missionary can be someone who just shares the Gospel with the lost souls that need Christ.

Isn't it amazing how God can take something I wrote one year ago and bring about conviction and remind me what I surrendered to and bring about a burden.  Sunday morning Mrs Martin prayed with me and gave me some papers I wrote and gave to her to remind me of every once in awhile, she told me to read them again and I did and it's burdened my heart.

I don't know when God will send me my husband, and I don't know if I will make it to Africa, but as Mrs Martin has told me and others before you just have to surrender to go if God has told you to, it was in Sunday School that she told us and she was teaching on Abraham and Isaac and Abraham offering Isaac, she told us that we don't have to go to Timbuktu, a place in Africa, and never see our mom and dad again, just surrender to go if God has called you.  God sometimes wants us to just have faith in Him.  He won't ask of us more than we can bear or anything like that and He won't ask of us anything that He won't enable us to do and won't walk with us through.  Do I know if God will place me in Africa one day? No, I don't, but am I willing to go? Yes, I'm willing to go.

God is good to me.

God bless!!!
Mandy Marie

What God Did For Me

I noticed last night that my gas light came on to tell me i only had one gallon of gas left in my car. i just went home and bypassed the mini mart.  this morning as i was driving to the school with the neighbor girl it went on to the red, or really right above it just a few centimeters from the red line.  I then prayed and asked if it was His will that He would help me to get to the school and to the gas station without running out of gas.  I said that I have faith that He can do it, and that just like the woman with the little oil and meal did as Elijah had said and made a cake for him and her meal and oil never left till the rain came that I was claiming that promise as mine with this gasoline, that it wouldn't run out till I got to the gas station.  On the way to the school I looked at my gas gauge and it had went from the red up to the first little white/gray dash above the red line, God did it.  I was going to go to the closest one to the school, but God had on my heart to go to the one by my house and so I did that all the way praying in faith and thanking Him and telling Him that faith really does see farther than sight does. and I got to that gas station after praying that the gas pumps would be empty on the side that i need them to be open on and it was and I thanked the Lord and I know for sure that if God can do that, which seems impossible to mankind, to me it did because I know I was out of gasoline, that He can for sure send me the one that I am to marry.  God is good!!! :D




Thoughts from this miracle today.

1.  we don't experience miracles like this, a miracle is God doing something man can't do, is because we are in unbelief that the God we trust with our souls for salvation, for our everything, can do the same things He did in the OT for the prophets and other people there in todays day and age.
2. we don't believe whole heartily that God can do something like this for us.  We don't believe that God can perform the same miracles He did for those in the OT because well we think it's the OT.  Do I believe God could still part the sea for someone to walk through on dry ground? if He wanted to He could, but do I think He will? No.  Do I believe He can sustain someone on a little food and water till they have the money to buy more? Yes.  If you pray in faith believing, if you pray for His will in it He will.

God has been good to me, God is good to me.

I've been going through a self inflicted storm, just reaping what I sowed and reaping the consequences but through this time of trial I'm learning that through it all God is good, in the hard times and in the good times.  I am convinced that had I not have gone through this time of trial, and I'm still going through it and I don't know when I'll reach the other side, I would not have experienced the miracle that I prayed for, yes there will be some that will say that is no miracle, but I know it was.  I would not have learned that God is good through every situation.  I would not know that God can answer prayers within mere seconds, and even minutes.  God has been showing me things in my life and in my Bible reading that I don't think I'd have seen had not I gone through some of these things that I'm going through.

A song that has been a blessing to me is Rejoice in the Lord by Ron Hamilton AKA Patch the Pirate. and a verse that has been such a blessing to me is Psalm 84:10 "For a day in thy courts [is] better than a thousand. I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness"