It's That Time of Year Again :) Ladies Retreat!!!

Lately I have been busyish and have been just not on my blogger that much, I havent wrote on here in more than a month, and I'm sorry about that.

I think it was last month that my laptop's back light went kaput on me, I wanted to buy a new laptop, but I don't have the finances to do that right now, and even to fix it it'd be like 100 dollars not including the taxes. So right now my Mom is letting me use her laptop.

We tried to see if the state would pay me for taking care of my grandma but since I live in the same house with her they can not pay me, I don't feel like that is fair, but I can't make them change their minds.  It's just a thing of where I want/need to save money now, but I don't make enough to save money, but God knows.

I'm feeding my Pastor's dog, Bounder, and their daughter's dog Bella, today and tomorrow for them, so there is a little bit of money, PLUS I get to see cute dogs :)

We got a dog :D Her name is Lucy.  She is quite and loves to be petted, loves attention (which is kinda perfect match for me).

I've learned that I am an attention seeker, and that is DANGEROUS for a person, let alone a girl, God will help me with it if I allow Him to, but when I do my own thing and don't allow Him to have all my attention and me get the attention that I seek from Him it leads to problems.

I'm going to Clovis New Mexico for their Ladies Retreat at I believe it's Westbrook Baptist Church on October 6th-8th, it has always been a blessing to me to go, a break from everyday stuff here and a way to get away and just be able to relax and have fellowship with LIKEMINDED believers.  It's testing living with a family that does not believe like you do and it's hard when they disagree with a stand you take or something like that. I get so frustrated at times about things they do that they see nothing wrong with.  I'm going to try and make some snickerdoodles for the craft sale, I dont do crafts really, and cookies are not a craft per say, but I bought jam and banana bread last year at the craft sale so why not make some cookies that I'm good at making? It will be such a blessing to go this year, I believe Sister Copes is "preaching" teaching (lol) again this year, such a wonderful, woman of God.

Sometimes I feel as though I am stuck, that I can't move forwards, and in ways I take steps backwards, that nothing I do here matters that I'm not truly fully appreciated.  When I talk with my friend or am online just doing random things I feel good and happy (yes I know that sounds bad, but it's kinda the truth) but when I'm with my family I just get upset.  They don't get me.  My uncle tattles about every little thing, it's like if you see something do it be a blessing not a burden.  My uncle is no saint himself.

I need to learn to be content in this situation because how will I ever be content when I am married and have my own family, of course I will love my family and care for them, and know that my husband and children love me and respect and appreciate me, but how can I be content there when I am not content here?  That's a question that has been posed to me over the past 2 years.  I try to be content and I just fail at it.  I get so frustrated and annoyed at people trying to tell me what to do and how to do it, well mainly just my uncle and my grandma (she repeats things over and over and over again and has no patience whatsoever).

If I had the money I'd go to Bible College, though right now I don't even know if that is truly God's will for me, in a way I kinda think that I'm not there now, and have been out of high school for 3 years now that maybe it's not God's will for my life just because of that but I know that with GOD all things are possible.

Kurt Skelly just tweeted: Before one ventures outdoors to criticize, he would do well to stop by the mirror of self-examination.  I think people in my house need this statement, as well as I do.

Well before I go into anything else and bore ya'll anymore I'll end this.

Oh and I'm really really looking forward to this ladies retreat, I really need it.

God bless,
Mandy Marie

The Love of God

Tonight has been a hard night for me, God knows the situation, but this is a song that came to mind.


The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell;
It goes beyond the highest star,
And reaches to the lowest hell;
The guilty pair, bowed down with care,
God gave His Son to win;
His erring child He reconciled,
And pardoned from his sin.

Refrain:
O love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
The saints' and angels' song.

When years of time shall pass away,
And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall,
When men, who here refuse to pray,
On rocks and hills and mountains call,
God's love so sure, shall still endure,
All measureless and strong;
Redeeming grace to Adam's race—
The saints' and angels' song.

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade,
To write the love of God above,
Would drain the ocean dry.
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.

Youth Conference

Youth Conference was so much fun this week, I miss it so much now though!  I miss Heartland and SouthWest Baptist Church.  The day after we came home depression and discouragement hit me kinda hard. I know that the discouragement was from the devil, but the depression was from not being at youth conference anymore.  We were on a "spiritual high" if you will and we came down off of that high and it's shocking, they always warn you about it before they pray and dismiss but you are never truly ready for it.  There's not any way to successfully prepare for it.  Once you get home your commitments get tested, one of mine is to pass out tracts in my neighborhood and try to get something set up for soulwinning in our church, if that means just suggesting it or asking why we don't do it anymore then I'll do it.  But I have to find the right time to ask all of this.  I have to find someone to go with me passing out tracts in my neighborhood because you know as well as I do, it's not safe for a single young lady (21 years old, but still a young lady) to go alone out passing out tracts, and inviting people to church, it's just not safe.

Pastor Kurt Skelly and Brother TJ Wilder was a blessing to my soul with their preaching, as was Brother Jason Gaddis.  They all laid great, thought provoking messages upon our hearts and minds.

I pray that God gives me the strength to do what He wants me to do, and the things that He has shown me He wants me to do.  I know one thing He has showed me is to be still and know that He is God.  Other things that He's shown me is that to Trust Him and not to lean on my own understanding, but in all my ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct my paths.  To delight myself in Him and He'll give me the desires of my heart.

As we delight in God and get closer to Him, our desires change, they become the same desires that God has had for us from the beginning.  That verse is Psalm 37:4 that I'm talking about.

I pray that God gets ahold of our youth group, they are too close to the world and it shows in their walk and talk.  I don't see much fruit in their lives, we need our youth to get on fire for God.

Our church needs to get back to soul winning and visitation, and not just let our pastor do it.  We can't make our pastor soul win for us, we're all commanded to do that.  It doesn't say Pastor go out to the high ways and hedges and compel them that they make come in that My house may be filled, it's told to everyone. the Great Commission is for everyone, not just the Pastor.

Tom's Test

Tom Burton is in his last year of college, studying music directing and business. Since Tom comes from a wealthy family, lots of young ladies are eager to become his wife. Not knowing which one is the one for him, Tom puts each girl through a test to see whether they’re truly committed. When he realizes his tests are somewhat flawed, Tom finally turns to God for the choice. Little does he know God may have a test in store for him.







During the night today, well started last night around 11 something, I realized that I was putting people to the test, guys to the test, on how they would react to my past to see how my future spouse will react once I tell him my past.  I trusted some of them enough to tell them regardless but you know it was still wrong motives.  I  thought after I sent the emails to them, at different time periods (different months), that now I'll see how they react to it to see how my future husband will react to it.  None of them had problems with it, but you know I should never have put them through a test like in the book Tom's Test, Tom was from a wealthy family and he didn't want girls that were just after his money so he put them through the tests that he came up in his mind but the tests were always flawed in one way or another and it ended up hurting him in the end before he got right with God.  I see myself in Tom by these tests that I've given to people about my past.  Though I did not do it to harm them, I still did do it.  I hope none of them are offended by it, one I don't even talk to anymore because he is not saved.

I realized last night however that I don't have to put guy friends to the test because when the one comes my way God will make it work out, He will not give me the one and not make it work out.  I think it might upset him, the one, a little bit by some of it, but I know that if God is in it he will still love me regardless.

God is good

Through it all God is good.

Evaristo and Salvation

My Grams is on hospice care and she has people come to the house, Evaristo and Martha.

Thursday Evaristo came over, he helps my grams M-W-F, he came over to get our old water heater and to talk with my grams, Wednesday the nurse came and did vitals and whatnot and grams' heart beat was a little more irregular, the nurse shared that with Evaristo and it bothered him, cuz he likes my grams and he doesn't like it when his patients die and whatnot (he's a CNA).  He made a statement about how he hopes that his good outweighs the bad so he'll go to heaven and my grams told him i'm sure it will.  That right there burdened my heart.  I knew he was not saved.  God burdened my heart to write him a letter explaining salvation to him and adding 2 tracts in it (one is a cartoon form and the other was a just written form).  I explained that salvation is by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, that we don't go to heaven by anything that we have done.  and I gave him the letter on Friday after praying over it, praying that God saves Evaristo and things along that nature, but I was worried about his reaction.  I tweeted something about it and my friend tweeted back and said God's Word never returns void, and that gave me comfort.  Monday he came in and he seemed like he was under conviction, on his way out (grams had no idea that i had given him a letter) he said thank you Mandy for the letter it was very enlightening.  Grams asked what did i tell him in the letter and I said I thanked him for caring for you and I explained salvation to him. and she said that's nice, or something along that line.  I shared with Mrs Martin last night what I did and she thought I did the right thing and that I should invite him to church or if he didn't mind if Pastor came out to see him or whatnot, I believe Evaristo is Catholic.  Today Grams was upset about it, that I shouldn't have given him that letter that I had no right to judge if he was saved or not and just things like that.  that she has to straighten it all out now because he looked upset about it (which to me that looked like conviction) she told me that I'm pushing away people from Christ, turning them away.  We aren't to judge and whatnot.  But I know that I did the right thing, that God impressed upon my heart to do that, He burdened my heart about it. And I have learned the hard way that if you don't do God's will, what He has burdened your heart you end up with no peace and no joy among other things, so I obeyed God's burden He placed upon my heart.  Grams said today that you witness when your on a witnessing field, and my mind went straight to the saying that once you step outside those church doors you are in your mission field.  Grams said he doesn't come here for that, but the woman at the well didn't come for salvation yet she left with it.  Christ meets you in the way.  If no one witnessed at times that weren't appointed to witness at then no one would get saved.

Please pray for Evaristo, Andrew (his son who is about 3ish), and Cindy his wife that they get saved.  Pray that grams heart opens up and if she isn't saved that she gets saved.  With the way she talks and acts I do not believe that she is saved.

Job, Bible College, and Laptop

Today I got the desire to get a new laptop when I had the money, but then I realized that this one that I have right now is still working, the spring has sprung on the left mouse button but other than that it is ay oh kay. So I decided that once I save enough money for Bible College that I will take and get me a new laptop that I will use during my time there, hopefully Heartland Baptist Bible College in Oklahoma City if they accept me, I know that my Pastor would be okay with that school already.

Job:  My family and I are looking into seeing if I can get paid by the state or whoever does pay family members who stay home and care for their sick/bedridden, ect. family members, and if I were to get paid for doing that in 1 years time frame I would be able to go to Bible College for 2 years almost, that is with giving my Tithes and Missions and paying my phone bill and all the other needs I need plus a little money for me, but saving some money.  But if I can't get that then I have peace about getting a job outside of the house, though I don't like the thought of what it would do to my family, but God has called me to missions and I can not learn to be a helpmeet to my husband just sitting here at home, I wouldn't know the first thing to do if I were in a foreign field trying to start a church with my husband, whomever he may be, from scratch, I need to learn that kinda thing, sure I know the basics of a family, but I don't know all that I need to know just from staying at home, and I know that God can send me my husband here in my little town but I haven't seen it yet, so I know that I need to go off to Bible College, as I've felt that was God's will for some time now, though my desire comes and goes.

Bible College:  I feel my desire to go to Heartland coming back, in full swing, I know how hard it will be to leave once Youth Conference is over when we go up there, I already am filled with joy as I think about it and about how I could quite possibly be there in the space of a year, I have this desire that I know satan will try to pull away from me through discouragement and discontentment in the things I have because he has done that to me before, but this time with the Lord's help I will stay strong with my commitments and I really want to go to Bible College next fall, this fall is out of the question, though I wish it were not!  If I had the money I could start in January, but I would like to start in the fall.

Please pray for me as I seek God's will in these areas, of Bible College and a job.

Thank you!!!

God Bless!
Mandy Marie

God's Cure For Loneliness

Once again today I found myself in a state of loneliness, feeling alone.  I go through states of loneliness off and on. But today was different. Today I found the answer for why I get lonely and that is because of satan.  I have gained victory in one area of my life and he knows that the temptations he brings about in front of me is not working so he tries to go to another area in my life to try and make me slip up there.  The area he tried today is loneliness.  God showed me that today.  Now that I know what satan is trying to use to slip me up in my walk with God I can watch out for it, and then the cure for loneliness is none other than God's Word.  I went to God's Word to cure my loneliness, I had only read a chapter of Proverbs this morning because I was really tired and I told God that I"d read more later on today.  I had gotten caught up in the day and satan came'a knockin and he was trying to get me down, and was succeeding, he was telling me things like now all your friends are serving God and you're all alone.  I know that God is working in my friend's lives, and He is working in my life too (for which I am glad).  I know that what satan told me was a LIE and will always be a LIE.  The Bible calls satan the father of all lies, so why would I be surprised to find out that he would lie to me?  I know that I am never alone, after I got saved I have never been alone.  Jesus Christ is with me all the time, the Holy Spirit lives inside of me.  I can always run to the Father and cling to Him and get the comfort I need, the encouragement that I need.  When I go through loneliness there are other feelings/things that come along with it. 1. Discontentment and 2. Discouragement  I get discontent in where God has me and I get discouraged with that as well.  I get discontent in my friendships, in my relationships that i may have, I get discouraged in what I"m doing for the Lord, that the little things are not big enough, but I fail to realize that Little is MUCH if God is in it!  Friends, our labour is not in vain in the Lord.  That is one thing that God showed me in my reading this afternoon in Philippians.  I went to Philippians because I remembered that my Pastor said if you're ever going through a hard time or are depressed go to Philippians it will lift your soul so that is what I did.

Isn't God good?!?

I Pray that what God showed me was a blessing to you.

God bless
Mandy Marie

Africa- September 14, 2010

The book I talk about in the 1st paragraph is Sam the Sergeant, in the book he turns out to be called to Africa and the girl he is to marry, whom God betrothed him to, is surrendered to go to Africa as well.
I feel conviction upon my heart, i`ve been feeling it during the last half of the book i was reading. Im not sure what all its about though.

i know i need to not compromise, not to give in.

Back in the day i see missionary videos from like africa and it would make me tear up just seeing those kids whose parents had aids and died and they had become orphans and its just sad. I remember 1 picture in particular, it was a little boy who had lost his arm. His parents had aids and i think he did too because his mom had it and how sad it was, even know it brings tears to my eyes. I used to think maybe God was calling me to africa because when i`d see those slides it would move my heart. But i thought later on that it was a thing that mandy wanted to do, and not one of God gave it to me. I thought maybe God wanted me to go to america this past year, but im not sure about that. Im just confused.
During the service bro copeland had a boy go up to the platform and he did some things and then he dreamed about his future and said you could be a pastor, something else that i cant remember, or a missionary to africa.

I dont know if that was God`s answer to me or not, but i asked God to make His will clear to me and if He has to hit me over the head wiith it that`s okay with me lol
Around the Globe: that was the theme for the youth conference this year. they had to carry bags around on their back while they did the games or whatnot the competitions, and they went to Egypt, China and i think 1 other place and the ones who won were the ones who took off the extra baggage. there were a few people that didnt take off the baggage, they were asked to take it out and show what was in the bags one had sports equipment and another team had hairdryers and stuff to make you look pretty. i liked that skit, i could see the moral of it before brother Ted Inman said waht it was.
Lately it seems like I've been seeing Africa everywhere, it started before youth conference but not too much, but i've been seeing all these shows on tv that are about african animals in africa, my pastor went out of town yesterday after church and brother chase was preaching and in his message he mentioned sudan and the slavery there, tonight on the news they were talking about hurricane danielle and said it's more close to africa than to the us right now. it just seems like africa is everywhere. when i first told mom about me surrendering me to be a missionary she pictured me going to africa (cuz in her mind that's where all the missionaries go). In my Junior year in my goals essay we had to tell the place we wanted to live and what we would be doing in 10 years from now and guess where i placed myself being a missionary to? you guessed it---- Africa. I am not sure if God is trying to tell me through all of this that Africa is really where He wants/ed me to go or not. but it sure seems like Africa is everywhere i look. it's in the song Bury my heart on the Mission field Lord even though africa is not anywhere mentioned in that song. Grams told me the day after I got back from youth conference that there were 10 missionaries killed in Africa because they were carrying their Bible and the africans thought they were trying to convert them and my first thought besides that's sad is someone has to replace them. Brother Cecil Ballard told us when he was preaching at Pot-O-Gold Youth camp in 02 that who is going to fill their shoes? He had had all the preachers and their wives come up to the stage and take their shoes off and then he said who is going to fill their shoes and in my heart i felt like if i dont who will? What if God is calling me to Africa? I think it would be neat yes, but it's awful scary if you think about it, those 10 missionaries died because they were sharing their faith (i'm not sure who they were or what faith they were) what if that were to happen to me? but the Bible tells us in John 12:25 "He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal." that's not the verse i'm thinking of lol wait a second let me find it. Here we go: Matthew 10:39 "He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it." I'm not sure how that fits in there for comfort but that's what came to mind when i thought of what if that were to happen to me, that i get murdered for sharing the Gospel in africa if that is truly where God wants me to go. But you know what if I am called to africa and God decides to let me get murdered for sharing the glorious Gospel and even 1 soul gets saved it will be worth it all because Heaven rejoices over 1 sinner that gets saved.
It's in the commercials for Johnson and Johnson talking about Kenya or Sudan or something like that, they said that it created jobs here and back home, I thought they meant home was Africa and here was the US. They mentioned Hurricane Earl being close to Africa in the news.
1 Chronicles 28:20 And David said to Solomon his son, Be strong and of good courage, and do [it]: fear not, nor be dismayed: for the LORD God, [even] my God, [will be] with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee, until thou hast finished all the work for the service of the house of the LORD.
This verse God really spoke to me this morning when i was reading my bible. It's the verse He used to call me to Africa. I prayed and asked Him to show me if He really is calling me to Africa and He said I want you to go to Africa.

In my junior year of High School people came to our US History class and told us about the Invisible Children in Uganda and Sudan.

Brother Chase told us about how they burn crops in Africa for a split second in a message he preached while pastor was gone.

Mrs Martin told us in Sunday school this morning(9/5/10) that we don’t have to go to Africa just surrender to it if God has asked you to, we were talking about Abraham and Isaac and how Abraham was told by God to sacrifice Isaac his only son.  She said we don’t have to go to Timbuktu, a place in Africa, and never see our mom and dad again, just surrender to go.  lol

Mrs Chase was talking about a book by Mrs Pearl about a helpmeet for him or something along that line and said something about your husband could be a visionary man who could up and go to Africa one month and then 2 months later go somewhere else, and she said some other things about the book as well.


There has been so much more Africa in my past that I cant even write it all down, and I am very sure that there will be more Africa in my future as well.

Missionary David Livingstone- heart buried in Africa.

Africa!!!

Last year sometime, around August I know for sure, August 25, 2010 (i had it written in my old Bible). I surrendered to go to Africa.  I had been feeling the call for a few weeks and even earlier in life I had felt the call but then I wrote it off as I wanted to go and not God calling me to go.

I remember all the missionaries who were going to Africa had slide show pictures and they would show them to us and it would move my heart and bring tears to my eyes, this girl (me) doesn't cry very much, and I remember this one picture of this boy who had lost his arm. His parents had AIDs and as a result he had it too, his parents died and he was an orphan.  He got saved and he had a huge smile on his face. So many people over in Africa have the same story, oh they may not have lost a limb or got saved but a lot of them have aids.  it's just sad.  People need the Lord.

through sin we forget God's call upon our lives, we have it in the back of our minds and for me when Africa would get brought up just randomly it would bring good thoughts to my mind and make me think of God's calling, but it didn't stir up the need to repent and get back on the firing line.

Last year sometime I was given a CD by a girl and it had Bury My Heart on the Mission Field and all throughout the song I pictured African people, the song never once mentions Africa but that was all that was on my heart.

At youth conference last year Brother Copeland preached (Brother Baldwin did too, but Bro Copeland was the one God used in this instance, though God used both) and he asked, I believe it was Brother Gaddis's youngest son, to come up to the altar to come and stand next to him. Brother Copeland knelt down next to the boy and dreamed about that little boy's future.  He said he could be a preacher some day or something else, or a missionary to Africa and that spoke to my heart because of all the Africa stuff that had been going on, I was seeing it everywhere, on TV, in preaching, just everywhere.  I didn't surrender that day, but a few weeks later I did surrender.

How are they going to hear if we don't go? Who is going to fill the missionaries shoes when they die and go on to Glory? Who will reach the African people if I don't? Yes I know that women don't preach and I don't want to be a preacher, God forbid that I'd want to be a preacher, but I know that I am to be the help meet to my husband whenever God sends that man along.  But a missionary can be someone who just shares the Gospel with the lost souls that need Christ.

Isn't it amazing how God can take something I wrote one year ago and bring about conviction and remind me what I surrendered to and bring about a burden.  Sunday morning Mrs Martin prayed with me and gave me some papers I wrote and gave to her to remind me of every once in awhile, she told me to read them again and I did and it's burdened my heart.

I don't know when God will send me my husband, and I don't know if I will make it to Africa, but as Mrs Martin has told me and others before you just have to surrender to go if God has told you to, it was in Sunday School that she told us and she was teaching on Abraham and Isaac and Abraham offering Isaac, she told us that we don't have to go to Timbuktu, a place in Africa, and never see our mom and dad again, just surrender to go if God has called you.  God sometimes wants us to just have faith in Him.  He won't ask of us more than we can bear or anything like that and He won't ask of us anything that He won't enable us to do and won't walk with us through.  Do I know if God will place me in Africa one day? No, I don't, but am I willing to go? Yes, I'm willing to go.

God is good to me.

God bless!!!
Mandy Marie

What God Did For Me

I noticed last night that my gas light came on to tell me i only had one gallon of gas left in my car. i just went home and bypassed the mini mart.  this morning as i was driving to the school with the neighbor girl it went on to the red, or really right above it just a few centimeters from the red line.  I then prayed and asked if it was His will that He would help me to get to the school and to the gas station without running out of gas.  I said that I have faith that He can do it, and that just like the woman with the little oil and meal did as Elijah had said and made a cake for him and her meal and oil never left till the rain came that I was claiming that promise as mine with this gasoline, that it wouldn't run out till I got to the gas station.  On the way to the school I looked at my gas gauge and it had went from the red up to the first little white/gray dash above the red line, God did it.  I was going to go to the closest one to the school, but God had on my heart to go to the one by my house and so I did that all the way praying in faith and thanking Him and telling Him that faith really does see farther than sight does. and I got to that gas station after praying that the gas pumps would be empty on the side that i need them to be open on and it was and I thanked the Lord and I know for sure that if God can do that, which seems impossible to mankind, to me it did because I know I was out of gasoline, that He can for sure send me the one that I am to marry.  God is good!!! :D




Thoughts from this miracle today.

1.  we don't experience miracles like this, a miracle is God doing something man can't do, is because we are in unbelief that the God we trust with our souls for salvation, for our everything, can do the same things He did in the OT for the prophets and other people there in todays day and age.
2. we don't believe whole heartily that God can do something like this for us.  We don't believe that God can perform the same miracles He did for those in the OT because well we think it's the OT.  Do I believe God could still part the sea for someone to walk through on dry ground? if He wanted to He could, but do I think He will? No.  Do I believe He can sustain someone on a little food and water till they have the money to buy more? Yes.  If you pray in faith believing, if you pray for His will in it He will.

God has been good to me, God is good to me.

I've been going through a self inflicted storm, just reaping what I sowed and reaping the consequences but through this time of trial I'm learning that through it all God is good, in the hard times and in the good times.  I am convinced that had I not have gone through this time of trial, and I'm still going through it and I don't know when I'll reach the other side, I would not have experienced the miracle that I prayed for, yes there will be some that will say that is no miracle, but I know it was.  I would not have learned that God is good through every situation.  I would not know that God can answer prayers within mere seconds, and even minutes.  God has been showing me things in my life and in my Bible reading that I don't think I'd have seen had not I gone through some of these things that I'm going through.

A song that has been a blessing to me is Rejoice in the Lord by Ron Hamilton AKA Patch the Pirate. and a verse that has been such a blessing to me is Psalm 84:10 "For a day in thy courts [is] better than a thousand. I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness"

My Idea on Courting and my life.

As some of my friends know I once started to believe Divine Betrothal.  I stopped believing in it because I saw some verses used out of context.  Though in principle it looked good, there were a few Scripture verses taken out of context.

Recently, I have done some very stupid things and have gotten right with God about it and I'm purposing in my heart to stay right with Him.

I know that I am one who is not good with keeping my heart, my heart tends to go out towards others and I have a hard time at times controlling that.  I also am more of a follower than a leader and that has proven to be troublesome and I need to fix that, I need to learn to stand upon what I believe in and not sway.

I am going to start believing in the Bible way of dating or courting, and not go seeking after the one God has for me but letting God lead that one to me.

I'm going to let God lead me to the one that He has for me and wait on God to reveal it and not get myself attached to anyone who may not be my husband so that I will keep my eyes focused on God, I want to be so close to God that the one He has for me has to seek God in order to find me.  I will court the one God leads to me and then we will either get engaged or married which ever the Lord directs, I don't know if I will court before or after I get engaged is why I said that.  I don't see anything wrong with courting the one God has for you at all before or after marriage/engagement I do however have somewhat ought against touching before marriage, and that it is wrong and not to be done.

So with some thought I believe that this is the best course of action for me to protect my purity and my future family.

God bless
Mandy Marie

Amazing Grace

God is so gracious and full of mercy.  He saved a wretch when He saved me.  He still forgives me when I backslide and sin again.

Amazing Grace how SWEET the sound that

saved a WRETCH like me

I once was LOST but now am FOUND

was BLIND but now I SEE!

I know that once I got saved that I could NEVER lose my salvation, Praise God, but that doesn't mean that I'm immune to sin, no it means that the devil, satan, will try his best to get my testimony because he can't have my soul and he hates that so he trys to mud up my testimony so that I can't be of any use to God.  he is like a lion, serpent, and so many other things.  he thinks he has a big roar, and he does, but if we go after him in JESUS name we will TRIUMPH because JESUS alone can defeat the enemy, satan HATES Jesus, he hates everything about Him.  the devil is afraid of Him.

I know that the backsliding that has happened in my life recently can help someone else, I know that God can use my sinfulness to help some other sinner who went through the same backsliding I did.  Backsliding doesn't just appear out of nowhere, and neither does sin, it all starts in the heart/thoughts then it leads to actions.  My backsliding started in my thoughts and in my heart and then it became actions but were covered by a facade that was infront of others, only God, me, and a few people knew about my backsliding and that was fine by me. not that i was okay that God knew or that I was not under conviction because I was but I was refusing to heed the conviction.

Do the tears flow down your cheeks unbidden?
Tell it to Jesus, tell it to Jesus.
Have you sins that to men’s eyes are hidden?
Tell it to Jesus alone.

I had sins that to men's eyes were hidden but there was One that knew about them the whole time, even before the few that knew about it did, and that is Jesus.  In times past I had gone to Him with them and gained the victory but I didn't watch guard and the devil got a place in, and Ephesians 4:27 tells us Neither give place to the devil.  I was doing just that but I didn't let myself see that, I did not want to see that, I was having fun in my sin, but the Bible says in Hebrews 11 that sin is only fun for a season (than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season; Hebrews 11:25b)

But thanks be to God who led my dear friend to talk to me in the middle of the night and voice his concern over my waywardness and through God leading my friend I got right with the Lord and have stayed right with God for 15 days and counting.  I have the Joy of the Lord back in my heart and I am so glad that I got right.

Sin is only fun for a season, but you don't take into count the depression, the guilt, the hurt, the harm done to your testimony and others, you don't see that you see the fun, the enjoyment, but not the bad side.  

Praise the Lord for the friends He has given you, the ones that are willing to sacrifice some sleep to tell you you need to get right with God.  He has blessed me with a wonderful friend just like that and I thank the Lord for that friend.

I don't know how to end this post, so I'll just end it here lol.

God bless,

Mandy Marie

Guarding Our Eyes

I have noticed something in my life lately.  When I go to the store I can not but notice all the nice looking, attractive guys at the store.  I wonder if he is single, or if he's married, this does not happen every single time the wondering about his status, but it does happen.  But the noticing of the guys happens on a too regular basis.

Yes, God created the woman to notice the man, but we need to watch our eyes, guard them, because if we lust after them, wondering ohh i think that guy is so handsome, i wonder if he noticed me, it can verge on the point of us lusting after them in our heart, and God tells us that that is adultery in Matthew 5:28, yes the verse talks about if a man looks upon a woman with lust he is committing adultery in his heart with her but i believe the opposite of the verse to be EQUALLY true!

I've noticed that when I do notice a certain guy that I try to get his attention subtilly with body language or something close to that, maybe it is just in the way i stand.  I know that is wrong and I have to fix this, I do not want to cause a brother in Christ to stumble, and I don't won't a lost person to look at me in a way that I would be causing him to sin.  I want to be an example of purity to all those around me.  That does not happen 100% of the time, but I do know it happens more often than not.

I know that I won't have to look and see if every guy is the "one" for me, I know that God will guide us together and I will just know that he is the one, I won't have to question/wonder about his relationship status, or how he looks because I know that beauty is vain, or in this case handsomeness is vain (lol)  and as we grow older we don't look the same and we should love what is on the INSIDE more than what is on the OUTSIDE, we should strive to love the inner man more than the outward, physical man.

I've been reading out of Genesis today, Chapters 1-3 and that thought came to me within about 10 verses in Chapter 1. lol.  even though Genesis 1 has almost nothing to do with mates lol, especially the portion I was in lol.

What God first showed me, well really brought to remembrance a message my Pastor preached some months ago, was that this world tells us it is the MORNING and EVENING that makes up a day but GOD says that it is the EVENING and the MORNING that makes up the day.  I think that that parallels with salvation in that we are born in the DARKNESS (EVENING) of sin and when we get born again we are born into the BRIGHTNESS (MORNING) of new life in Christ Jesus. "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." 2 Corinthians 5:17

Over in Genesis 1:26-27 God tells us that we are created in His image, we need to live like it and LOOK like it!!  Before we ever step out our front doors we should STOP and look at how we are dressed and say Does what I am wearing GLORIFY GOD or does it glorify ME? If it glorifies God go out the door and if it glorifies me then go ask forgiveness and change outfits.  1 Corinthians 10:31 "Whether therefore ye eat, or ye drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God."

Are we being a good, faithful steward over what God has given us? Genesis 2:15

God didn't tell Adam that he would physically die the moment he ate it, but He did tell him thou shalt surely die- it was 1st a spiritual death, it broke fellowship between him and God, and later on in life it was a physical death. Genesis 2:17

Often times we are not ashamed of our sins until someone points them out to us with God's Word.  Unless the Holy Spirit comes and convicts us of sin we would not be ashamed of our sins.  Some people are not ashamed of their sin, but one day they will be and it will be too late.  Every knee shall bow, and every tongue shall confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.....

Satan comes to us in subtil ways sometimes and he questions what God has told us.  Don't give in to him!!!  Stand Firm in what God has convicted you about and showed you!!  Stand firm on that King James Bible, stand firm on Separation, stand firm on Salvation, and all those other doctrines, Stand firm in your conviction that women should not wear pants or anything that a man wears, stand firm on that good, solid Christian Christ-honouring music (not that CCM music, like Christian Rock that is an oxymoron if I ever saw one)  You can not put Christ uplifting words to a worldly beat and get a Christ-honouring song I am sorry but that is TRUTH!!!

Don't add on to what God has said either, that is sin and it is unwise, Eve did that when she answered the serpent and told him "neither shall ye touch it"  her first mistake was talking with the serpent in the 1st place, second was adding on to God's Words.

Her downfall was Lust (she lusted after the fruit that the serpent told her would make her like a god (a little g god) it was a "tree to be desired to make one wise", then it was Sin "she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat" and the old adage is misery loves company "and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat."  Christian LSD- James 1:15  Genesis 3:6

Then their eyes were opened to their sin and they tried to hide it, and hide from God, but my friend they could not hide from God.  They tried to clothe themselves with fig leaves, which is a symbolism of works salvation, but that could not hide their sins or cover themselves.  God knew exactly where they were spiritually and physically.  They played the blame game and that will not work with God, we all must give an account to God one day so don't be blaming anyone else for the sins that you have committed!!  In Genesis 3:21 God made coats of skins and clothed them.  That is, to me at least, the first sacrifice because Blood had to be shed to get those coats of skins, without the shedding of blood there is no remission of sins.  God made provision for Adam and Eve, He saved them and He covered them.  He sent them away out of the garden of Eden to protect them from the tree of life.

Well that is all for now, that's all I got so far out of my beginning of Genesis today lol, I know this is a long post but I pray it is helpful to someone!

Walking in the Flame!!!

One of three Hebrew children I've been standing for God's word in a land where His name is seldom if ever heard, but today I refuse to bow to their desire and now i am facing a terrible fire!!!

BUT SOMEONE IS WALKING WITH ME IN FLAME (AMEN!!!!) I CAN FEEL HIS TENDER HAND, I CAN HEAR HIM SPEAK MY NAME (AMEN!!!!) WHEN THIS FIERY TRIAL HAS ENDED I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME SOMEONE IS WALKING WITH ME IN THE FLAME!!!

Now when I face each trial old Satan comes along and he whispers it's no use this trial is much too strong BUT I HAVE AN ANSWER FOR ALL THE LIES he brings Satan you would be so right EXCEPT FOR ONE THING!!!

SOMEONE IS WALKING WITH ME IN THE FLAME (AMEN!!!) I CAN FEEL HIS TENDER HAND, I CAN HEAR HIM SPEAK MY NAME (AMEN!!!) WHEN THIS FIERY TRIAL HAS ENDED I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME SOMEONE IS WALKING WITH ME IN THE FLAME!!!!

God never said that the fire would pass us by but I'M GLAD HE PROMISED TO STAND BY OUR SIDE!!!

WHEN THIS FIERY TRIAL HAS ENDED I'LL NEVER BE THE SAME SOMEONE IS WALKING WITH ME IN THE FLAME SOMEONE IS WALKING WITH ME IN THE FLAME!!!!  


AMEN PRAISE GOD !!!!!

The Pin Family

The Pin Family

I’d like for you to meet the Pin Family:

First, there is Mr. Clothes Pin, he thinks that if he has a good job and looks well that is all that is necessary.  He is very slow, for he is always holding up the works.  He always makes sure before he makes a decision, and to him the idea of salvation does not seem reasonable.  He reminds me of the rich young ruler, who was proud of his worldly possessions.  Mark 10:17-22 (read the passage)













Then there is the wife, Mrs. Hat Pin.  She says she’ll get ahead even if she has to stick people to do it.  She tries in her OWN STRENGTH to be a successful person, not minding a little cheating or crafty methods and not knowing that God says the “wisdom of this world is foolishness.” 1 Cor. 3:19.  She is up to the minute in business and politics and style, but not in the things of God.












Next is Bobby Pin.  He gets into everybody’s hair! He is always being mean.  No one has ever told him Romans 6:23 “FOR THE WAGES OF SIN IS DEATH, BUT THE GIFT OF GOD IS ETERNAL LIFE THROUGH JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD.” and John 3:16 “FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON THAT WHOSOEVER BELIEVETH IN HIM SHOULD NOT PERISH BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE.”












The older sister is Straight Pin.  She is very strict, but NEVER gave her heart to the Jesus.  She gives money to many organizations, helps the poor, and does all kinds of good deeds.  She thinks that good deeds will  get her to heaven, but Eph 2:8-9 says, “FOR BY GRACE THROUGH FAITH ARE YE SAVED AND THAT NOT OF YOURSELVES, IT IS THE GIFT OF GOD: NOT OF WORKS LEST ANY MAN SHOULD BOAST.”












Next is Safety Pin.  She heard of the love of the Lord Jesus Christ and received Him as her Saviour.  Her school friends laugh at her.  Everybody says she should eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow she will die, but she says she is on the “safe” side, and remember 1 Cor 6:19-20 which says “THAT KNOW YE NOT THAT YOUR BODY IS THE TEMPLE OF THE HOLY GHOST WHICH IS IN YOU, WHICH YE HAVE OF GOD, AND YE ARE NOT YOUR OWN? FOR YE ARE BOUGHT WITH A PRICE: THEREFORE GLORIFY GOD IN YOUR BODY, AND IN YOUR SPIRIT, WHICH ARE GOD’S.” She was bought with a price and has a job to do.  She is willing to do the little jobs as well as the big ones.  Everyone calls on her when there is trouble, for she can always be depended upon.









Which pin reminds you of yourself?  I trust you’ll go the way of Safety Pin, for you too, were bought with a price, even the BLOOD of the LORD JESUS CHRIST!!!

My Prayer to God is Psalm 51

Psalm 51

 ¹Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.

 ²Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.

 ³For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.

 ⁴Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.

 ⁵Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.

 ⁶Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.

 ⁷Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

 ⁸Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.

 ⁹Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.

 ¹⁰Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

 ¹¹Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.

 ¹²Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

 ¹³Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.

 ¹⁴Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.

 ¹⁵O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.

 ¹⁶For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.

 ¹⁷The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

 ¹⁸Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem.

 ¹⁹Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar.

We sin against God first and foremost, every sin I have ever committed has been against God only.  I make mistakes and I sin, that sin first was a THOUGHT, then it was an ACTION.  No sin has ever been committed that was not FIRST thought about.

Sometimes God has to break us to get us back to Him, I pray that doesn't happen, but to me it seems all too often God has to break me, humble me, bring me to acknowledge how stupid or ridiculous I have been.  I think God is too patient with me at times.  I sin and sin and I get right over and over again, but I don't see how God could ever look behind my faults, but I am so glad that He does and when He looks at me He sees His Son.  Amen!!!


You, I, Can NOT effectively witness till I am completely right with God, it won't happen.  How can one witness when they are deep in sin?  The person who is LOST and WITHOUT hope can see RIGHT THROUGH you and see YOU DON'T BELIEVE IT because they are not stupid, they see your actions and we are probably the ONLY Bible some lost soul will ever see!  Make your life count.  Let God use you, don't buck the system.  I have done that way too many times and I regret it so much!!!

2 Chron 7: ¹⁴If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Our part

1. be saved
2. humble ourselves
3. pray
4. seek God's face
5. Turn from wicked ways (REPENT)

God's part

1. He will hear from Heaven
2. will forgive our sins (AMEN!!!)
3. and will heal our land

I can't help but think that the land God talks about in this verse could mean our lives, God tells us to break up our fallow ground, 2 times in the Bible, so our lives are compared to ground, so why not land be considered our lives.  If we are doing our part in this verse God will hear from Heaven and FORGIVE our sins and will heal our land, our lives.  He can take us and mold us into what He wants us to be, He doesn't have to throw the clay away, He can take us off the Potter's wheel and make us into a ball and add some water and put us back on the wheel and start all over again with us and make us a vessel meet for the Master's use.

Our SIN could HINDER the health of the land, the physical land we live in. Our sin could be the reason for no rain, I can't help but wonder if God is withholding the rain that we so badly need because I have been sinning, and unwilling to get completely right with God.  I have gotten right tonight and have spent the past 30 to 40 minutes in His Precious Word and I feel at peace once again with the Father!

If we have friends that draw us aside unto things that we ought not be doing then no matter what we need to stop and say I can not be friends with you, don't worry about how they will take it because if the friendship is going to pull you away from God then, my friend, it is not worth it!!!  I've learned that the hard way, and I don't want you to learn it the hard way either.

A good friend of mine asked me tonight, do I love Jesus more than my sins?  that is a convicting question.  Of course all of us would say yes to that, you would not even dare admit that you love your sins more than Jesus, but truth be told some of us live that way!!!  God forbid it though.  I know my life showed that I loved my sins more than I loved Jesus, the Saviour of my soul, and I regret that!

I can not take back the sins that I have committed these past few weeks but I have gotten them FORGIVEN and they are under the blood of Jesus!!!  God will help me and keep me in line and I will do my best to stay in line with Him and stay in the sweet communion with my Lord.

God bless you all!!!

Mandy Marie

Sin Always Costs You Something

This past week has been awful for me.  I have not been living for the Lord like I ought to and it has shown in
1. my walk with God
2. my relationship with God
3. my friendships
4. my internet life
It has affected every aspect of my life and that is wrong.

Today I got upset at a friend for I don't even really remember the whole reason why, partly I know because of the lack of emails I was receiving from my friend.  Which I know I know is a really STUPID reason to be mad at a super good friend!  but there was sin in my life.

I know that my temper was off and my attitudes were flaring and whatnot.

I got myself into trouble and I am going to be able to refund 2 out  4 things that I stupidly bought online that I should not have ever bought in the first place, so I am out 35 dollars and 80 cents.

I was so STUPID I took from my missions money to sin, i took 25 dollars out of my missions money to order stuff online, i was going to pay it back the next month but that was not right.

Mal 3:8 KJV - Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.

God doesn't take too lightly on stealing.

I have sought God's forgiveness and God was merciful and forgave me! 

1Jo 1:9 KJV - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Sin will take you further than you want to go.
It will keep you longer than you want to stay,
and it will cost you more than you want to pay.

My New Room Pictures!!

Frank ended up painting my new room for me :-) lol

Godly Friends Are Hard To Come By

Today I'm reminded of how good God has been to me.  He has allowed one of my good friends into my life.  He has used my good friend to rebuke me in the Lord and I needed it.  God puts people into our lives for a reason, there is never a time when God puts someone into someone's life without a purpose.

In high school a boy named Robby was put into my life to show me that I can't stay pure by myself- I did not give him my full purity, but that is not the point.  God put him in my life to show me that I have to be careful who I pick as friends.  He put Brianna in my life to show me that I can't trust every one who says they are my friend, that I can't trust every person I meet online because they may very well be fake and not real.

God put my good friend in my life to direct me in the right way and to help me through some rough times, a person to talk to.  He, my friend, is a great guy and I know that God has a purpose for him being in my life. I owe a lot to him because he has been such a great friend to me.  I was really stupid today and got the much needed rebuke from him and that's what i call a true friend.  A true friend is one that tells you the truth, Biblically based truth, even though they know deep within that the person probably will not receive it the way that they should.  I could have gotten mad at my friend today, but you know what?  I know that he is right and God used him to show me that i was wrong.  Do I automatically stop being upset with him because I know he is speaking the truth? I should, but does that always happen? nope.  Did it happen today? over the course of a few minutes yes.  Now do I wonder if me and him are okay? Yes I do.  I don't want to lose such a good friend that God has given me because of me being so STUPID!! But do I deserve it? Yup.

Thank You for being such a good friend, if you are reading this you know who you are :-) and I'm truly sorry for being so stupid!!! I pray that you forgive me.


God bless!
Mandy Marie

Long Day Today!!!

Hmmmmmmmmmm  I decided to paint my door last night, it turned out okay, needs a second coat cuz you can still see the blue paint beneath it a little bit, but I like the color :-)

I got a call from my Pastor today, he was in Oklahoma when he realized that he forgot the 2 trash bags he was going to take to the dumpster at the church on the ground next to his truck, he had loaded up Bounder, his 90 lbs Black lab (cute, old dog) and totally forgot the 2 light weight garbage bags, so he called me and asked if I had a church key, which i do not, but  he asked if I could pick up the trash and throw it away for him, we have dumpsters where I live so I told him I could, so I went over to his and his wife's house and do that, and then I came home and throw them in our dumpsters down the street.

My uncle Frank painted mom's room today, so I had to help somewhat with that :-( but yeah he's painting my ceiling for me so I better zip it ;) lol

Ummmmm that's about it for today.

Resurrection Sunday went really great!!!!  Megan and I sang Gone (with Christ Arose!) for the offertory and it went great! God really used the song.  Then Mark, Mrs Graham, and Mrs Hemmer sang Were You There When They Crucified My Lord with Crown Him With Many Crowns for the special and it was great!  We had a great attendance Sunday Morning!!  We have 1 lady who wants to join the church by baptism on Mother's Day, and we had 2 saved last week :-)  God is STILL in the SAVING Business!!!! 

God Bless!

Mandy Marie

As Long as JESUS Lives There is Hope.

There Is Hope 

Sometimes we go through trials 
That are so hard to bear 
We lift our face toward heaven 
"God, are You really there?" 
I've asked that same question 
I've been down that road 
And looking back, I now can tell you 
He's always let me know 

Chorus 
There is hope, so hold on, there is hope 
God has sent me here to tell you, there is hope 
And He knows just what you're going through 
And what the future holds 
As long as Jesus lives ... there is hope 

He was bruised for our transgressions 
Nailed upon a tree 
He cried out to the Father 
"Why have You forsaken me?" 
But through this suffering Savior 
He brought healing to our pain 
And the one who raised Him from the dead 
Can restore us all again 

(Repeat Chorus) 

He promised he would share our sorrow 
And bear our heavy load 
This road that we are traveling 
Will one day turn to gold 

(Repeat Chorus)

Purity: Learn From My Mistake.

When I was 18 I had my first kiss with a guy who was my best friend.  I regretted it a few months later, along with the friendship with the boy I had the kiss with, well I should say kisses to be truthful.  I got right with the Lord that summer at youth camp.  When I was 13 or so I decided that I would wait till my wedding day to even hold hands with a boy or kiss a boy, to save everything for that one special man God would put into my life.

Things happened my senior year of High School, yes I went to a public high school and had some questionable friends, but I had a myspace account and I had added my best girl friend on there, and then this boy named Aaron asked me to be his friend and so I did, fast forward a few months and I find out my best girl friend made up the boy and back-stabbed me in essence.  I had a best guy friend at the time as well.  I turned to him when I found out that she was lying to me the whole time.  If I have one thing important to say through all of this it's this; when something happens in your life that hurts you, don't run to your best guy friend, run to your pastor's wife or youth pastor's wife or a lady that you trust, if you run to your best guy friend you will end up with regrets 9 times out of 10, take my life as an example.  A few weeks before my best guy friend tried to kiss me when I was texting a friend, and i didn't even know it till he said something, and even by then my standards were slipping in regards to purity.  I was flirting, and I didn't even care.  This day my best guy friend and I skipped class together and went to the choir ensemble room and sat in the dark.  another thing is, don't go to dark places alone with a guy, it leads to trouble.  He tried to kiss me that day and stopped before he did and he commented about it and I told him I didn't even care that day and so he kissed me.  I look back on that day with regret.  that wasn't the only kiss he gave me, or that i gave him, though i wish it were.  I still have my purity as the world would call purity, but I don't have some of the things that I was saving for my future husband.

My biggest regret in all of this is that I didn't flee temptations, the Bible tells us to flee youthful lusts, and i didn't do that.  I put myself into a place where temptations WERE going to arise NO MATTER WHAT.  if you are alone in a dark room with a boy you better believe something will try to happen, and it may not just be a kiss.

Learn from me!  Don't skip class with a boy, don't give away your firsts.  Save them for the man God has for you.  It will be so much more special.

I have remade my commitments, and though I can never get my first kiss back, I know the only person I will ever kiss again is my husband, who ever he may be.  I want my husband and my first kiss to happen at the wedding altar when the Pastor says to my husband "You may now kiss the bride." and not a second sooner.

Purity isn't the easiest thing to keep, it is too easy to lose, but it is so worth keeping it and protecting it.  Your future spouse will thank you for keeping it.

IF YOU'VE ALREADY LOST YOUR PURITY it is NOT too late!!!!  Repent of your sins and make a commitment today to keep yourself pure till your marriage.